Archive | September, 2011

Playing With My Emotions

29 Sep

The one thing I realy dislike about searching for jobs for almost a year now is that I am so emotionally invested in finding a job that when what seems like an offer presents itself I get CRAZY excited! Like I start imagining what it would be like to work at whatever job shows interest even if it’s not exactly what I want to do with my life, it’s a damn job and I get excited. I probably get unreasonably excited and shouldn’t envision myself in the position right away because I’ve been duped a few times and it takes a toll on me emotionally. I’m not a very emotional person so for me to get emotional it’s…well…wierd to me. A couple of times I’ve gotten emails asking me to fill out applications and the companies questionaires and I do it and then they send me an email back telling me to be considered for employment they need my credit score or something equally stupid that makes no sense. And each and every time it’s a let down, not to mention the fact that they present themselves as real organizations when they just want to solicit information. I really hate that, because I’m already on edge about finding a job and for someone to dangle something in front of me really plays with my emotions. Has anyone else had to deal with this stuff?? Any idea how I can know before I apply to places that they aren’t worth the time?

Thought of the day # 3
I hate having to deal with my emotions so I need a damn job already!


Another Day Another Dollar…without the dollar

27 Sep

My day goes as follows:

-wake up…wonder why I can’t just sleep all day since I have nothing better to do

-go volunteer my time at an office that needs some help during the morning, just to keep my resume active

-get lunch for my hubby and drop it off to him at his job

-go home and literally spend two hours trying to find new jobs to apply to that I haven’t already applied to yesterday…praying for something that has my EXACT qualifications and that they magically look at my resume the minute I send it and then call me within 5 minutes and say “Congrats no interview necessary you’ve got the job!!”

-come back out of that false reality and apply to anything I see that is close to my qualifications, sometimes applying for things I know I can do but don’t match my qualifications just hoping they like my name enough to call for an interview

-make sure the house is clean, feed the kids (our pets), make funny faces at my cats in hopes that they will come and lay on me and love me! Start thinking that maybe I could be a cat handler…or WAIT since I have two cats that look like little tigers I could definitely be a Tiger handler at the zoo…or a traveling circus I could become a carny and….wait my husband will never go for that. Back on to the job sites I go to find a “normal” job with no tigers and traveling carnies.

-make dinner, thinking about what to make for dessert. OOOHH I love to bake let me make something fabulous that my husband loves…oh wait I’m broke and we only have the ingredients for sugar cookies…FAIL!

-feed husband and have grown-up talk with a person and not my cats or turtle…watch t.v. or a movie, read a little bit, then it’s off to bed!

Thought of the day #2
I still need a damn job!

First Post…more like ramblings!

23 Sep

Well here I am about to embark on my very first blog…except I’ve had one before, and I got into a funk and didn’t have time (at least that’s what I tell myself) and stopped blogging. I’m starting to miss expressing myself daily or weekly whatever will work for me and I want to jump back in, so here I am!

My husband and I have been hit hard by the recession, as most everyone in the U.S of A. has been. And to put it in perspective I guess my idea of being hit hard is probably something like a sissified(not sure if this is a word, but I like it!) version of an actual victim of the recession. I was laid off, along with my entire department, in October of 2010 so almost a year. At first I was ok, because I had never not been able to find a job…yea well let me tell you I’ve been hardcore searching for a job since day 2 of my lay-off and I’ve only had 4 interviews! ONLY 4 FREAKING INTERVIEWS! I’ve been employed since I was 14 so it’s wierd for me to not have a job or something to do on a steady basis every single day. Don’t get me wrong I’m on unemployment, which helps but I want to earn my living and have a purpose in life again! It has gotten so bad lately that I’ve been donating my time to a couple of places by helping out with their office work or whatever, just to keep myself busy. I am so blessed that my husband has a job and is able to pay our bills if something were to happen to my unemployment benefits, but I’ve never been the Suzy Homemaker type (which is not an insult, I wish I was good at running my home but I can’t seem to find a balance….not to mention I HATE dishes and laundry!) so for me to sit at home all day I get bored! And when I start to clean because I’m so bored it’s bad….it’s real bad! I find that I am starting to sink into some sort of funk which might be labeled a depression but I’m not even quite sure what depression feels like so who knows, and I need to get out of it. Hence why I started this blog, to help me vent and work out all the craziness of my thoughts without driving my husband nuts!

Thought of the day #1
  Why can’t I find a damn job????